Life in Kindergarten {by a Middle School Social Studies Teacher}

A few years back I used to be a staff monitor for our Student Council.  Since I was the only monitor in the primary department, I needed someone to hang out with my kids so I could be at the meetings, or help with events.  Every time I returned from duty, I had little notes on my desk from the teacher that "hung out" with my kinders.  Here are just a few that I recently came across.  I hope you enjoy them.

I have to mention that this middle school social studies teacher is one of my BFFs.  She is brilliant, beautiful, and I love her to death!  Our school hasn't been the same however since she moved back to New Mexico and is teaching there.  

She has assured me that she will NEVER...EVER...teach kindergarten (not even for a million dollars). 

Life in Kindergarten
Book Notes & Ideas
~add in children screaming at the window-make it sound like death curdling screams
Typical Quotes:
~"I'm bleeding", "My tooth is loose",   insert name   is putting his feet on my head", "She's using the wrong color", "I can't tie my shoes"
~might be funny to add some vomit...vomit always makes people laugh & nose picking - definitely throw in some nose picking...is eating it over the top or still funny?
~new chapter to include Just What DOES go on in the bathroom?.....
& here's the start to the chapter 20 Ways to Avoid Naptime...
1) tell on EVERYONE
2) hold feet in air until they are numb
3) spy on teacher, then close eyes quickly
4) straighten mat incessantly
5) distract those around you by snoring loudly
6) lay anywhere near Drake
7) pretend shoe is a spaceship, complete with rocket launcher
8) throw mini pieces of paper at person closest
9) pretend to be a snake
10) eat the four left over crackers that were found in pocket

Daily Schedule of a Kindergartener
(she hung out with my kids right at the beginning of the day)
8:05-pay attention for five minutes to see if it is Friday yet
8:06-poke the person to my right...or is it left?
8:07-fake apology for my action
8:08-sneakily poke the person again
8:09-claim they poked me first
(she hung out with my kids during rest time)
12:20-lay down for "nap time"
12:25-smell my socks & shoes
12:27-have the person nearest to me-smell my socks & shoes - RAUNCHY!
12:28-pick my nose & threaten to wipe it on the person NOT smelling socks & shoes
12:29-get told on-fake apology to follow
12:30-engage the "tattler" in conversation & then...tell on him!
12:35-try to leave to go to the bathroom
12:36-get a tissue instead-not for boogers-just for the fun of it
(she hung out with my kids right before dismissal)
2:50-take advantage of chaos to put stuff in Dobie's cage-by the way he creeps me out! (our class guinea pig)
2:55-try to make teacher lose ALL patience-by ANY means necessary
2:57-tell teacher I love her on the way out the door-which oddly enough-is TRUE!

Did I mention that I will NEVER....EVER teach middle school (not even for a million dollars)! 

I'd love to hear from all of you out there in KINDERLAND about your quirky Life in Kindergarten.